Go! Go! Go shawty! It’s your birthday, we gon party hard, cos it’s your birthday… Lol. Okay. That’s the farthest I can go with the lyrics of 50 Cent’s hit song. A groovy song that sets you in the mood to party silly and hard on your birthday. Unfortunately, the song never works its magic on me; I’m never excited about my birthdays. Birthdays are a reminder of my setbacks, a reminder that things didn’t work out as planned, a reminder that I’m getting old, without achieving any of my very big dreams which sometimes scare me.
On my birthdays, I’m always thankful for the gift of life, and at the same time, moody. I’m usually very reflective and sober. Most times, I want to be alone but the people who love me, despite my flaws, never allow me be sober for long. They flood me with love on my special day. Love so overwhelming, till the point I shed some tears— happy ones.
When did this lack of excitement start? Since I clocked eighteen. Not like I was ever a birthday person. Before eighteen, all I always wanted was to be treated specially (no punishment, no scolding, no hard labour… Just pampering) and prayed for on my special day. Nothing more, nothing less. Good thing is, my birthday was usually during the long break from school— I owe fate for that. There were times I forgot my birthday on my birthday (please, don’t roll your eyes at me. Shit happens).
Before I officially became an adult, I had my life mapped out. Here’s what it looked like;
Graduate from secondary school at 16-17.
Get into a higher institution at 17-18, cos you know, smart pants, acing my exams at one sitting shouldn’t be a problem.
Get my first boyfriend in my 3rd year at 20, or after university at 21-22 depending on whether I studied Agric or Nursing.
Finish service at 22-23.
Get a job immediately after service, work for a while to attain financial independence before getting another degree, cos you know, all that brain can’t be wasted.
Make my first million before I’m 25. Own a nice home and car before I’m 30.
Get married to my one and only boyfriend (worst case, third boyfriend cos you know, life happens) at 27-35.
Have four kids and adopt two.
Build my mama a school and others…
Occupy a top position in my field. Be a model for young girls and teenagers in general. Own an NGO. Make an impact in the world and have my name written in the sands of time.
Looking back at my ridiculous list, I find it laughable. I must have thought life was just in black and white. I didn’t think I’d have many challenges. So you see, why I totally stopped being excited about my birthdays after 18, is cos I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, and I hated that I wasn’t in control.
Once upon a time, I would confidently share my age with those who asked and I got comments like “you’re very wise for your age”, “you’re such an old soul”, “you act and look older than your age”. Such comments acted as confidence boost, and left me always pleased.
What about now? Except I’m comfortable with you, I just tell you I’m in my early twenties cos I think it’s stupid to lie about it. Truth be told, most times, I have to deduct my birth year from the present year to get my present age. Yes, it’s that bad, and for three years straight, I kept thinking I clocked 18 on my last birthday. Tragic, right? And Just when I was gradually beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel cos you know, one more year and I’ll be done with school, Covid-19 happened, and ASUU decided to add some toppings with their strike. How perfect! Anyways, all I know is that I’m deducting this year from my age and I won’t be disclosing my age freely, until I complete my first degree program, and I’m financially independent.
Well, well. I’ll make deliberate effort to be excited about my birthday, next year. So help me God. I might just end up taking special birthday pictures too, and maybe for once, friends won’t have to stress, digging out pics from the last decade to celebrate me with. Lord knows how many of my potential customers they’ve sent off with some of those embarrassing pictures (which I honestly find cute and funny)… In case you’re wondering what service it is I offer, I offer backbone services. I can be your backbone, if you’re invertebrate. My services are for men only, PLEASE!
To my star girl, Nkechinyere, thank you for being my ginger and for infecting me with your excitement for my birthdays. You’re the reason I have more birthday cake pictures than I’d have had. Thanks for the peppered chicken and chocolate that year.
And that concludes my story of why I’m never excited about my birthdays. Who else can relate to my story? What do you think of birthdays? Do you find them overrated? Feel free to drop your comments.
The story is relatable 🤧, in various levels, from the age to the life plans 😂, as for the bday, I could only relate to this year, I was a shadow of myself and I just kept counting every seconds, I couldn’t wait for the next day 😂 but come what may, let’s still hope for better days 😁
Cheers to better days.
Birthdays make me feel reaĺly grateful especially for life and love,but soon after,it’s like nothing ever happened. I move( very heavy on the move)
😂 We move, till the next 365 days. Gratitude is important, that’s one thing I’m glad didn’t die.
I have the same feelings towards my birthday, I’m always super pumped when another person is celebrating his/her birthday but for my birthday God knows I want to just take a break from people and be on my own. While I certainly know that living in Nigeria is a risk one man from Daura or any village can come and do something that can pause people’s life but I just try to control what I can control.
Nice one Sonia
This is so relatable…
Sometimes, my friends (and some of my family) think I try to shut them out on what they call “the big day” but I just usually see my “big days” as another day.
I would usually love to spend my birthdays alone, maybe sitting in a park and staring at a beautiful natural sight, writing a poem or something but no…. First, it’s all the calls and texts and prayers and then you just have to glue a smile to your face.
I hope I don’t come off as weird, I do know that birthdays are meant to be celebrated (are they really?) but I usually just like to be reflective on those days.
So I do get you Sonic, and I love this one
*winks*
😂Thank you, David. I also do get you. And no, I don’t think you’re weird to think birthdays aren’t to be celebrated, though I don’t think completing a ‘cycle’ is not worth acknowledging .
Being reflective on one’s birthday is another way of acknowledgement, just as celebrating is a way of acknowledgement, in my opinion.
I can totally relate to this. I keep thinking my life is just passing me by and I haven’t achieved anything with it so what’s the point of celebrating the day at all
Exactly. You ask “what’s the point?” Until you become reflective, and you start to realize you’ve actually made some small wins worth cerebrating.
Thanks for sharing your thought on this.
Birthday are never my thing….. I always switch off my phone just to meditate, going back and fort in time, trying to create a perfect world for myself. A world without flaws and excitement.
I’m glad you know what works for you.
I honestly don’t remember my birthdays any longer.
After I clocked 25 years ago it became worse and feels like a time bomb.
Too many things to be done, so many bucket lists.
I don’t talk about birthdays or celebrate it.
But you see I met some few people who do not joke with birthdays they are trying hard to make me roll in their coaster.
I hope it works next year but me personally I’m not a birthday person even as much as I love parties……..
😂 Looks like we’re in the same WhatsApp group. Let’s hope next year is better, I’d love to know what it feels like. Maybe afterwards, I’ll decide if I want to go back to just being reflective on my birthdays or not.
Thanks for sharing this, Simi❤.
Naaaaa can never be me ..Lol…no matter how I want to be moody on my birthday I just get infected with the birthday Madness. Like it is my birthday bitches..I am a year older… I grewwww even though I didn’t get to my goal I still have a chance to make it better. Maybe it is my sunny attitude or my positive one but I just loveee birthdays.
Haha! I love your spirit. Keep it up.
Love this!
I usually get excited on my birthday and anticipate the gifts and cakes and calls etc then afterwards it dawns on me that I’m getting even older and those plans I made way back just seem ridiculous now. I just pray about it, adjust my plans and move on…
A very good way to handle it. I should learn from you.
Thank you, Ijeoma.
Birthdays usually come with a bitter sweet feeling in the morning. The thought of another year lived, another year closer to death rings in my head all year. It’s a +1-1 situation for me. Clears up in my head when I look at the positive side of the new year; being stronger, smarter and being closer to achieving my dreams. It’s never too late, no matter the age. I’m in my baby twenties, with big hopes and aspirations. The new year comes with a chance to work towards achieving those goals
Way to go, Mide. Thanks for your kind words. I’m taking notes.
I’m not sure I get these exact feelings as yours but most times I’m a bit indifferent about them, but my friends that care make them a big deal and I end up being grateful for the love and warmth. The next day, we meeuveee!
😂 Yes, we meeuveee. I actually started from being just indifferent, before I graduated to this level, so I get you.
Remove the timings and enjoy the life of your head! It’s so beautiful to see that you have someone who gingers you, reading that part gave me some sort of surreal feelings .
You write well, I think you should write some more.
Also, please comma teach me 🦅🦅
Finally your dreams are valid ! Go shorty😂😂
Haha! This made me laugh hard. Thanks, Bobby.
I forgot my birthday in 2016😂
Good to know I’m not alone😂.
Birthdays are just like other days just that i wish people show me love everyday just like they do on my birthday.
They make me feel so important and remind me of a whole of lot of good memories, small wins and our times together. That in a way is a form of motivation that I am unique in my own way. The love is always so massive you know
Birthdays are just like other days just that i wish people show me love everyday just like they do on my birthday.
They make me feel so important and reminds me of a whole of lot of good memories, small wins and our times together. That in a way is a form of motivation that I am unique in my own way. The love is always so massive you know
I think I get you. I think birthdays, for most people, are days they chose to be vulnerable and express themselves totally, making you aware that your existence is appreciated, and reminding you of your awesomeness.
If you get the exact show of love every other day, as on your birthday, do you think the effect would be the same? I personally don’t think so.
So! I’ll just say, while you await the once in a year kinda love; love yourself, hype yourself, and pay a little more attention to the love shown you everyday, no matter how little, and appreciate them.
Story of my life , but we mueeeve ✌🏾
Nice write up girlllll 👍 but omo 😁 I can relate o. Most times it looks like life hasn’t been fair enough to you but all the same that Joy of being loved and loved gives the inner strength to move on. As for me, I’m just always super grateful on birthdays and see a hope to do better than the previous years. Yeah, it’s a hope.
This is so relatable to me.
At the beginning of each year, I am always conscious of the fact that I’d be a year older soon. I make a list of all I’d want to achieve that year… then life happens.
I always look forward to my birthday though, but once the day arrives, I show gratitude to God for the privilege and enjoy the calls, messages and good wishes… Life continues.
Well done Sonia👍🏼