I was having a bad hair day on a fateful afternoon; I lay in bed and started to wonder what could have been the cause of my hair falling all over like cotton seeds being dispersed by the wind. A thought struck my mind. Could it be the dreaded killer disease, cancer? Was I going to become bald, or lose my boobs? My heart skipped five times a hundred beat at the thought. What would I do, how will my poor mother react? Who will bear the burden of cost of treatment? How long will I live; long enough to give my mother a grand child? How would I spend my last days on earth? These were the questions that flooded my mind.

I began to weigh options. First option was to be wild, go on crazy and wild adventures before my death. Do things I’d never done, just to know what it feels like. I wasn’t going to die at twenty something without clubbing, smoking, having mad sex (preferably with a random guy) , eating suya from the mallam without caring for hygiene for once, wilding at parties and so on; hell nah, I wasn’t . I was going to do all of that; after which I’d then be sober, confess my sins, and be good till death . The second was to ask any interested guy to marry me ( just the two of us ) without any responsibilities attached, just so we’d copulate the honourable way; and make a baby or babies for my mom before my death. The last was to live a prayerful and holy life in a convent , being selfless, giving to the poor, and accepting my fate without questions. You can call me a St. Nia in the making. Lol! Getting treatment wasn’t part of my options. No, I wasn’t going to burden anyone, or make anyone bankrupt and still die. I actually briefly considered euthanasia. Well, I don’t remember choosing any of the options. Those were just thoughts; mostly influenced by some movies and books I’ve read .

Please don’t laugh at my foolish thoughts, they can just get really wild sometimes. This whole drama series took place in my head within a period of 10 mins. If only everyone had a chance to plan out their deaths… Unfortunately, she (death) comes without permission and snatches away life rudely, like it’s her birthright.

Have you ever thought of your last moment, do you have a dying wish? What would it be?

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16 Comments

  1. Nelson June 27, 2019 at 7:57 pm

    This is beautiful.

    Reply
      1. Oreoluwa June 28, 2019 at 6:15 pm

        Actually,I have thought that far.
        Well, now that the thoughts are quietly crawling in, all I can think of is not just to die with regrets.

        I don’t want to be on that bed and then think of words I should have said, ideas I should have executed, trips I should have taken, etc.

        I want to die believing I have lived a fulfilled life.

        Nice write-up by the way.
        This is really nice, Nia. 👏👏👏

        Reply
  2. Ephraim Nonso June 28, 2019 at 8:49 am

    I have wished that death comes to pick me down that abyss where he took my dearest brother and my other loved ones. Yes, I do not have to live in this world tied to the disparity of destruction in it.

    Reply
    1. Sonia Robby-Agboiyi - Site Author June 28, 2019 at 9:31 am

      Oh wow. I think I can relate a little. I’m sorry for the loss of your brother.

      Reply
  3. Jessica June 28, 2019 at 12:19 pm

    Nice write up, reminds me of a movie. 😁🙌

    Reply
  4. chukwudi onyewuchi June 28, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    Nice writeup. I am always scared about thinking of death, though deep down I know it is inevitable. What can we do than live a good life till it comes at last!

    Reply
    1. Sonia Robby-Agboiyi - Site Author October 2, 2019 at 10:22 am

      Yes brother, live a good life while you can. Death is inevitable like you likely stated, so it’s only wise that you take advantage of ‘Now’.

      Reply
  5. Tas Lim June 28, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    I hope to die an active death.. By the blade or the bullet.

    Reply
    1. Sonia Robby-Agboiyi - Site Author October 2, 2019 at 10:18 am

      Wow. If what you mean is fighting for a cause and dying in the processing; I guess it will be right to call it a heroic death.

      Reply
  6. Sophie-Mariette. June 28, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    Yeah.
    I have thought of that a lot.
    I wish to die peacefully without struggling and with a beautiful smile knowing that I am fulfilled.
    Nice write up Sonia!

    Reply
    1. Sonia Robby-Agboiyi - Site Author October 2, 2019 at 10:16 am

      Thank you Sophie, and that’s for sharing your thoughts. I’d love to have a peaceful death too.

      Reply
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