I woke up on a Wednesday morning, feeling energetic and excited about what the day had to offer. It was a few minutes to 6:00 AM and I had about an hour to get ready and leave for work. That was no big deal, I’d gotten used to it, but I had just one big problem; I didn’t know what to wear, like most days. Lol.
I opened my wardrobe, took a long look, closed it with an exasperated sigh and saggy shoulders. I walked aimlessly around the room and went back to my wardrobe, hoping to be inspired this time. I stood in front of my wardrobe for another two to three minutes and still, no inspiration. Feeling irritated, I released a long hiss, closed the wardrobe and sulked off to the bathroom thinking “e go be. I’ll dress anyhow today. I don’t care if I end up looking like a stray cat.”
That’s how this baby girl stepped out of the bathroom feeling clean, did the necessary ritual and went straight to her wardrobe again with very little hope. This time, I spotted this stretchy black and white stripes high-waist pants I wore the previous week, and said to myself, “very good,” cos I didn’t need to bother about ironing it. I didn’t have to stress about the top to wear, I saw a very casual and easy wine coloured long sleeves shirt shouting “I’m hear for you baby geh.” The top had a wide round low cut neck, it was almost an off shoulder and it did hug my body well. So you see? My problem was solved.
I looked in the mirror and I was looking peng, with shirt tucked into the waistband of my wide legged pants, both fitting my voluptuous body. I accessorized with my silver loop earrings, my black and silver wakanda necklace, black and brown wooden bracelets and a very simple pair of brown sandals. My hair was very simple, just a little weaving(flat braids) and big twists with my natural hair.
I got to work at the right time, went about my duties, got some nice compliments, a playful query for looking “too sexy” and a thousand and one other things happened. It was finally time to go home. I noticed a couple of heads turn on the road but I didn’t care, I just knew government wouldn’t hold me responsible for any accident caused.
I took a shuttle, alighted at my bustop and walked down home, which was just a minute walk away. As I walked past a group of bored young men, I heard them talking and laughing out loudly, cos I was giving them joy. More precisely, my butt was giving them joy. Yes, my “succulent bumbum” has super powers.
I believe these guys were employed to man the properties of their respective employers but no, they chose to leave their various posts to have a family meeting and to exclaim and talk gibberish about an innocent baby girl like me, whose only offence was to have water bumbum. Well, I don’t see what my behind looks like when I walk but research says my butt-cheeks love to dance, hence the name “Water bumbum.” I guess it was the mesmerizing dance moves (wiggle wiggle wiggle) that made them lose manners and reason. Isn’t it unfortunate that people get to see my big babies dance for free and I don’t ?
Of all the nonsense they said, my brain chose to process and retain just this , “destiny changer.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or to be mad at them. It was from this point they got my attention and I heard another exclaim “this one go change person destiny ehn,” and others agreed, while another chipped in loudly “I swear, this one na real destiny changer. No be small” and they all laughed and continued talking indistinct gibberish while I pondered on the name, thinking “so I am now a destiny changer, as small as I am.” I know they were referring to my butt, so yeah, that automatically makes me as a whole, a destiny changer. So you better watch how you deal with me so I don’t mess with your destiny.
I have heard almost all sort of exclamations, adjectives and even songs on top this butt of mine that is just moderately big in my opinion. But this one— destiny changer—has to be the most amusing. I’m now even considering changing my social handles to “Sonia, the destiny changer.”
Have you ever had such experience as a lady or a guy? How did it make you feel and how did you handle it ? Kindly share with me and others.
Destiny changer😂😂🤣…..you shaa had to make us look for you and reach here🙄, nice and funny write up tho😆
😂 Thank you Daniel. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
💥💥😂
Afi destiny changer. I love the way you embraced it. I didn’t really embrace people talking about my big boobs, that explains why I wear big cloths mostly.
Thank you Ibukun. I hope you embrace your endowment and own it.
Oh this is so good. I totally agree
Thank you Chukwudike.
😂😂😂, baby girl come and change my destiny please!
Coming through baby😂.
Destiny changer🤣, and I thought only God or gods were capable of that. You’re a goddess on earth baby girl 😩
I know right😂. It’s a rare super power. I’m just very lucky.
By the way when next someone ask for your super power just tell them you have the ability to change destinies 😂😂😂
😂😂😂 I’m def gonna do that. Thank you.
😂😂😂 Destiny changer destiny changer come and change my Destiny my destiny today… All I can do is 😂😂😂
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Ekata the destiny changer😂. Destiny changer lomo😂
One and only o!