Posts tagged woman

SUCCESS-STRUCK GIRL

Life Random

My head aches terribly right now. I don’t know if it’s this load I attached to my hair in the middle (I have to give Yemi Alade accolades for rocking those big ponies effortlessly. As for me, I’m taking mine out today today. I know it’s barely 24 hours since I installed it, but you know what? I can’t comman goan kee myself) or the sadness I feel right now is what is responsible. No, I didn’t lose anyone and nobody broke my heart. Well, maybe my heart is slightly broken right now cos today was my last day at work, where I interned. I’ve been drinking water since cos according to a certain woman, water solveth all problems. If you’re broke, drink water. If you’re depressed, drink water. If you’re sad like me, drink water. If you don’t know how to mind your business, drink water. So, I have taken the water o, and I’m patiently waiting for the sadness to go away.

Like I said earlier, today was my last day at work and I got the privilege to have a short conversation with the MD/CEO of the firm. I dirin experrit (I didn’t expect it). I thought I was just going to take pictures. Nobody warned me! For some reasons, my brain turns to jelly whenever I’m around that woman. No, not jelly; catarrh (phlegm) is more like it. Catarrh is what my brain turns to. It’s not like she’s mean or walks around with her nose up. In fact, she’s the opposite; very nice, sweet, charming and graceful. Still, I get nervous around her even with the sweet smile she offers everytime. I guess it’s just the aura around her, plus she’s an accomplished woman and she rates high in my book of women I admire. Within the short time I’ve spent around her, I’d say she’s someone I look up to. I love how she runs her business and how she loves boooks! You may not understand the reason for my emphasis on books, if you do not know me. I love people who love books; not school books, please.

Me, everytime I see the CEO

I must confess, my short meeting wasn’t a pleasant one. Oh lord! I couldn’t stop thinking of the 1001 ways I could have answered one simple question, immediately I stepped out. I had one simple task fam, just one!! And I failed woefully.

Well, I did answer genuinely. I told her of one of my experiences which I found interesting— getting to see with my eyes what the books and teachers said, as I could not state my most interesting. But if I was in my right state of mind, I definitely wouldn’t have given such mediocre answer. Lol! Now I suspect this to be the cause of my headache.

I wasn’t even thinking when speaking to her. You know that feeling of being with an influential person, let’s say Dangote or Michelle Obama, without forewarning. That’s how I felt. I wish I could turn back the hands of time to give her the gazillions of answers swimming in my smart head. *Sighs loudly*.

Sad thing is, you can’t even read her expression to know what she’s thinking. She made a comment on my answer, saying what I found interesting was just chemistry and a bit of common sense; if that was sacarsm, I don’t know. And at that point, I didn’t care, I just wanted to run out of her office. But thinking about it as soon as I got to my office, I was almost certain that was sarcasm cos I wasn’t impressed with my answer which I replayed in my head. If I were her, I definitely would have given a sarcastic response to me.

But y’all know the wise saying, popular among Nigerian university students, especially after seeing a bad result; “e go be.” That is what I’m trying to console myself with as I write. Unfortunately, that isn’t working for me right now. Or maybe I should just chill and maybe I’m just over-thinking things like the over-analyzer that I am. Maybe it isn’t that serious. *Sighs*. Maybe I’m just concerned about how dumb she must think I am; like it’s my fault that I was brain-frozen by her presence.

Today’s experience with the MD/CEO has made me more success driven. Only success can cause the effect I experienced. I’m going to be “that” someday, one who others look up to. Someday, someone’s brain too will turn to catarrh just because of my presence.

Have you ever had anyone make you feel how I felt ? If you have, please share in the comment section. Let us know ourselves.

EMBRACING HER STRIPES

Beauty Life Random 7 Comments

I recently saw a beach photo of a Nigerian celebrity, and my heart ‘awwwwn’ed. Of course, she was in a bikini and she was baring her tiger stripes to the eyes of both vultures and lambs. I found that to be very impressive and brave.

I’ve become used to seeing ridiculously edited pictures of celebrities, showing us only the glam side. So, you see why I was impressed? Never in my weirdest imaginations, would I have pictured this celeb to have stripes or any other physical flaw, cos she looks like a perfect real life brown skin barbie. I would have had that picture painted on my forehead, and my occupied chest, if I could, just for the world to see . Yes, that was how Impressed I was.

The picture brought memories of those days I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin; of how the girl who loved to show legs a lot, suddenly became a convent girl.

I think I’ve shared this story before. Well, here’s me sharing again, in a different shade of light.

Before puberty hit me hard into a coma that almost left me dead, I had the ‘perfect’ body; no one told me this, I just loved my skin a lot, that made it perfect for me. I had lots of really short skirts, shorts, and some short denim dungaree dresses. I loved showing my legs a lot. I was a child, so showing skin was acceptable, until some foreign things that behaved like snails started to grow on my innocent chest— it felt like stones were planted there. That was one very scary experience, I was just eight. Well, that’s not the subject now, let’s not deviate. We are supposed to be talking about tiger stripes. So yes, back to that.

I was ten years old when my body started to fully change. Those snail like creatures were beginning to get bigger and heavier for me to accommodate on my chest, and I wasn’t ready to have them caged, cos really, I found it embarrassing. I was barely eleven for crying out loud, why would I be wearing what people like my mother and aunts wore? That would make me an outcast among my peers—wearing a bra, I mean. So, I chose to deal with the pain that came with running, jogging, or walking fast with those monstrous things on my chest, without restraint. Like that wasn’t enough punishment for being a girl, I woke up to find some stagnant earthworm like creatures on my body. If I could run from me, I would have. I screamed and cried.

A lot of thoughts ran through my mind. Did I offend anyone in school? Was that the effect of eating spaghetti and noodles? Or was I reacting to the new body cream? Is there a treatment for it? The sight disgusted me, cos those marks really looked like earthworms— brown, and fat. They were still very fresh. I had them on my lower body. Well, the break of the news that it had no cure, destroyed me. It was finished; shakara had ended and I wasn’t even a teenager yet.

I just thought life wasn’t being fair to me. First, I had been dealing with my mates and adults referring to me as ‘bum bum’ or singing ‘Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, bumbum!’ when I walked, since I was very little. Let’s just say that didn’t really bother me. Okay, I just lied cos it actually did bother me, but I learnt to shrug it off. Then came the aliens on my chest; I was still really struggling with that— how their eyes popped, and entered their shell still freaked me out. It got really bad, my mom had to suggest I get them chopped off, since I couldn’t live in harmony with them. Now, I had stretchmarks (which I later rechristianed ‘Tiger stripes’) added to the list of my misfortunes. In my mind, I was like ‘God, how far na? I’m supposed to be your favourite child. Why are you letting evil befall me?’

That was the beginning of wearing very long skirts for me. If it wasn’t way below my knee, I wouldn’t wear it; it had to reach my calf just a little below where the stretchmarks ended. People assumed I was just a very churchy church girl, they didn’t know what was supping. Well, I was a church girl (still one), but I wasn’t the kind of church girl they thought— the ‘SU’ kind.

I dreaded Wednesdays, in secondary school, cos that meant wearing shorts, and it wasn’t an option. It was compulsory to be in the school sports wear. This was what I did; I’d wear black tights beneath my shorts and sag my shorts just so it masked my ‘disease’ to an extent. There was my school skirt too, it fitted really well, thanks to my small waist and wide hips but there was a ‘but’…it was a ‘wedding dress.’ It was long! I admired other girls who could wear knee length and mid-knee length skirts without a reason to be ashamed.

It wasn’t until after secondary school I saw the light. Isn’t God great? I finally woke up from the coma. The miracle happened cos I accepted that I couldn’t change my situation. I had no control over biological changes in my body. I didn’t choose to have stretch marks. Well, by now, they weren’t so irritating, the marks had faded from reddish brown to blend with my skin colour to an extent. That was the birth of ‘tiger stripes.’ I didn’t even know that was already a thin. The marks just reminded me of tiger stripes and I loved the sound, it didn’t sound like a disease of some sort. And that’s how I got my groove back. Yasss! I stopped having shame. Shame for what? No be person I kill, na stretch marks I get. Anyone offended by the sight should kindly look away. Don’t break!

So, my beautiful ladies and gentlemen endowed with tiger stripes, or any physical flaw at all, on any part of your body, don’t let it limit you from doing things you’d love to do. Please, be comfortable in your skin. Wear that armless shirt; put on those shorts; hit the pool or beach in that hot bikini or swim suit, only if you want. Do not let anyone shame you for a ‘crime’ you didn’t choose to commit. You know why? Cos life’s too short to not wear shorts!

Shout out to Inidima Okojie, for showing us her perfect imperfection.

PS: Did you know that stretch marks and cellulites are some of the prices (I’m aware of) for having thick thighs; just to save your lives? Shaking my head. The things we do for love ehn. Some of y’all don’t deserve us. Yes, I said us, you know what that means.

CONFUSIST OR FEMINIST??

Random 9 Comments

This thing called FEMINISM; there are more feminists in the world today than we know. The problem is many of them don’t know they are feminists; they act it, but renounce the noun.

Why? Because the word ‘feminist’ has been abused a whole lot by confused people who have no knowledge of feminism, but wear the tag about. Feminism is not misandry, it is not arrogance, it is not injustice. Feminism is fair. Feminism is not sexist.

I’ve heard many men say, “I am not a feminist, but… I believe both men and women should be given equal opportunities.” and it leaves me thinking; “Doesn’t that make you a feminist?” Further research made me realize men like this respect women and decisions they make. The married ones are very supportive husbands, not the domineering kind. They are men who cheer their wives and celebrate every of their successes without feeling inferior, they do not treat their wives as maids or robots. They act as parents, they do not leave their wives to take sole responsibility of parenting. Yet they claim not to be feminists. Lol… I laugh cos they dunno worz going on.

I also recently just saw an interview of a friend, in response to a question on the place of women in the society today. She said, and I quote “I would say that women have come to assume a great spot in the society today, though we’re still coming up. I’m not a feminist, so I believe there should be balance in the roles men and women play in our world today.” Are you also thinking what I’m thinking? Doesn’t that sound like a response of a feminist to you? But she just contradicted that with the statement “I’m not a feminist” I had to have a conversation with her to understand what she meant, and I was right to think she had a misconception of the word.

I do not blame people who do not want to be associated with the word ‘feminist‘, they are right to do so. I’d do the same if I didn’t have a fair understanding of the word. Come on, who wants to be tagged as one who spouts hate? I blame those who have no idea of what feminism is about, they probably just saw a public figure claiming to be feminist and boom! They became feminists too, juz laidat. They go about disturbing our peace with “I am a feminist” everywhere on social media. Eskizz me ma, you need not go about shouting and wearing tags displaying FEMINIST, let your actions speak!

You are a feminist until it’s time to split bills, or perform manual labour, or make certain sacrifices, that’s when you remember he is a man. If I’m not mistaken, Feminism is about equality. Right? You can’t be a feminist in the day and a I don’t know what in the night; you’re either one or you aren’t. Gbam!

You go about insulting men, displaying arrogance and very poor manners in disguise of being feminist. My sister, please take a chill pill and relax in the back sit, let us see the authentic feminists. I really do not know who schooled such people; they need to unlearn and be schooled again from the scratch. It’s just very unfortunate that feminism for some, has become a means of channeling out suppressed aggression and toxic traits.

I have a lot more to say but I’ll conclude by saying; feminism is the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men. And a feminist is one who has such belief, be it a man or a woman . So dear readers, feminism isn’t witchcraft, it isn’t toxic and it certainly isn’t evil.

What is feminism to you, and what do you have to say about feminists of today? I’d love to know your views, we learn everyday.