One of the fastest ways to get me mad is by body shaming. I mean it. I can’t stand people who body shame others, it irks me. It’s enough reason to break up with a guy, for me. It is never funny to make fun of a person or riducle a person for his phenotype. We talk about depression here and there, many cases have resulted to suicide. Then you start to hear many saying “He should have spoken up,” “She should have talked about it.” With who? I ask . You? The same you who’d never stop shaming his body? You who constantly made her feel less of a human cos she was too fat or too thin? Just think again, some of these suicide cases are due to body shaming and bullying. Oh yeah, you should go for confession for committing murder. You think cos that girl, that boy you body shamed or constantly body shame is still breathing, you’re free? Has it ever occurred to you that that girl, that boy could just be a living body with a dead or crumbled personality cos of your thoughtlessness ? Of course not. The point is whether the victim is breathing or nah, you’re still guilty of murder!
You’re probably thinking, this girl sef too get wahala. Break up with a guy for always body shaming people? It may not make any sense to you. It will soon, let me paint you a picture. Let’s assume I’m a girl with the “perfect body,” small waist, flat tummy, medium size boobs, wide hips with a big butt and a fine face. I can’t exactly be described as fat or thin. I’m dating this guy who adores my body and is always happy to flaunt me. He loves me totally, that’s what I and every other person thinks. He’s almost perfect, ticks 95% of every girl’s list, but… he never stops making comments about how Amara’s calves are like Abuja yams, how thin and boyish Sola is and how dating her will be like dating a fellow boy, how Hadiza’s yansh is flatter than pancakes , how Aniekan’s legs are like toothpick, how Ese’s stomach looks bigger than her achievements, how Omada’s boobs are like the fallen walls of Jericho or are similar to the famous downfall of Olympus and so on. Well, I don’t think him talking about them is a problem, after all he loves me and my body is perfect.
Years later, I get married to him. He feels like he just earned the world’s biggest and most expensive trophy with his name engraved on it. We are couple goals until nineteen months later, when we welcome our first child together and my body refuses to go back to what it used to be. I have the tattoo of motherhood all over my stomach and my once upon a time perky boobs. My stomach now resembles an over soaked bag of garri. My husband now sees me and gets turned off, he suddenly doesn’t adore me anymore, he feels uncomfortable to be seen in public with me now . Only then do I realize he never really loved me, he only loved my body and now that that body is gone… You know the rest.
This is why I say, fall for a person’s personality and other qualities, not just the looks. Let the looks be a plus. Age will set in, accidents could happen, childbirth will change some things. What now happens when the beautiful body or face or height is lost?
Say no to body shaming, never join in laughing at a supposedly funny joke at the expense of another’s feeling. It destroys people mentally and physically. Don’t be the reason for another’s low self-esteem or depression. Learn to love people the way they are, we didn’t choose what we look like, just like we didn’t get to chose the family or country we were born into. You could have been me and I could have been you. Again I say, say no to body shaming. Nobody’s body should be your problem. Are you even perfect ? Worry about you first.