My head aches terribly right now. I don’t know if it’s this load I attached to my hair in the middle (I have to give Yemi Alade accolades for rocking those big ponies effortlessly. As for me, I’m taking mine out today today. I know it’s barely 24 hours since I installed it, but you know what? I can’t comman goan kee myself) or the sadness I feel right now is what is responsible. No, I didn’t lose anyone and nobody broke my heart. Well, maybe my heart is slightly broken right now cos today was my last day at work, where I interned. I’ve been drinking water since cos according to a certain woman, water solveth all problems. If you’re broke, drink water. If you’re depressed, drink water. If you’re sad like me, drink water. If you don’t know how to mind your business, drink water. So, I have taken the water o, and I’m patiently waiting for the sadness to go away.
Like I said earlier, today was my last day at work and I got the privilege to have a short conversation with the MD/CEO of the firm. I dirin experrit (I didn’t expect it). I thought I was just going to take pictures. Nobody warned me! For some reasons, my brain turns to jelly whenever I’m around that woman. No, not jelly; catarrh (phlegm) is more like it. Catarrh is what my brain turns to. It’s not like she’s mean or walks around with her nose up. In fact, she’s the opposite; very nice, sweet, charming and graceful. Still, I get nervous around her even with the sweet smile she offers everytime. I guess it’s just the aura around her, plus she’s an accomplished woman and she rates high in my book of women I admire. Within the short time I’ve spent around her, I’d say she’s someone I look up to. I love how she runs her business and how she loves boooks! You may not understand the reason for my emphasis on books, if you do not know me. I love people who love books; not school books, please.
I must confess, my short meeting wasn’t a pleasant one. Oh lord! I couldn’t stop thinking of the 1001 ways I could have answered one simple question, immediately I stepped out. I had one simple task fam, just one!! And I failed woefully.
Well, I did answer genuinely. I told her of one of my experiences which I found interesting— getting to see with my eyes what the books and teachers said, as I could not state my most interesting. But if I was in my right state of mind, I definitely wouldn’t have given such mediocre answer. Lol! Now I suspect this to be the cause of my headache.
I wasn’t even thinking when speaking to her. You know that feeling of being with an influential person, let’s say Dangote or Michelle Obama, without forewarning. That’s how I felt. I wish I could turn back the hands of time to give her the gazillions of answers swimming in my smart head. *Sighs loudly*.
Sad thing is, you can’t even read her expression to know what she’s thinking. She made a comment on my answer, saying what I found interesting was just chemistry and a bit of common sense; if that was sacarsm, I don’t know. And at that point, I didn’t care, I just wanted to run out of her office. But thinking about it as soon as I got to my office, I was almost certain that was sarcasm cos I wasn’t impressed with my answer which I replayed in my head. If I were her, I definitely would have given a sarcastic response to me.
But y’all know the wise saying, popular among Nigerian university students, especially after seeing a bad result; “e go be.” That is what I’m trying to console myself with as I write. Unfortunately, that isn’t working for me right now. Or maybe I should just chill and maybe I’m just over-thinking things like the over-analyzer that I am. Maybe it isn’t that serious. *Sighs*. Maybe I’m just concerned about how dumb she must think I am; like it’s my fault that I was brain-frozen by her presence.
Today’s experience with the MD/CEO has made me more success driven. Only success can cause the effect I experienced. I’m going to be “that” someday, one who others look up to. Someday, someone’s brain too will turn to catarrh just because of my presence.
Have you ever had anyone make you feel how I felt ? If you have, please share in the comment section. Let us know ourselves.