Posts tagged hairy legs

I Am Judging You: Leg Shaving

Until recently, I used to judge people who shave their legs. I didn’t know leg shaving was a thing until 2015 when an aunt of mine said she needed to wash her hair and shave her legs that day. It took longer than usual to process the information.

You mean people actually sit and dedicate time and energy to shave off innocent and harmless hairs from their legs? For the longest time, I thought her legs were naturally smooth like that of the one who bore me. Wow! Talk about strange things. I hate to pick beans cos somehow, it triggers migraine and the more beans to pick, the worse the migraine. At that point, I’d have chosen beans picking over leg shaving if asked to shave.

How do y’all even keep up? Ah mean! Shaving the two essential places ( you know where and where) takes a lot of mental preparation. If not for the sake of hygiene, I’d let those things flourish like a wild bush. But then, hygiene! So we have to keep them immaculate for the second coming of our lord. I wouldn’t want to be caught unfresh when the lord comes, yunno. Thank God for the invention of shaving creams because I think shaving sticks were invented to give us an insight into hell and put us in check.

I still don’t think I’d ever subscribe to leg shaving cos I don’t think I possess the level of commitment it takes. And I suspect shaving them off makes them grow with a vengeance. This would mean having to shave at the sight of new growths. Wahala!

The absence of hair on legs makes a lot of difference and is more aesthetically appealing, I must admit. In my opinion, the presence of hair (coily ones, particularly) dulls one’s skin glow. I came to this conclusion from my recent observation. And maybe I don’t really see the need to shave the hairs on my legs off cos they aren’t wild. Even with leg hairs long enough to create the shortest kinds of false eyelashes, I’m still maintaining beauty with my glow intact. So I’d instead let sleeping hairs lie.

Hairy female legs. No leg shaving.

It would take an observant person to notice how hairy I am because the hairs don’t like stress and are always asleep. Very lazy things. Due to friction with surfaces like the bed, I noticed that some parts (the side that rubs the bed when you lie on your side) aren’t so hairy.

However, if I would have someone in charge of the scheduling and shaving of the hairs, with sitting pretty as my only responsibility, maybe I’d give in. I shouldn’t have much to worry about if it’s permanent hair removal. It should be easy to give in.

Suppose you’re one of those who shave your legs; I’m no longer judging you. I now see what you see. The judgment has been transferred to people who make being hairy—in the places that aren’t the ‘two essential places’—look like a sacrilege.

I am judging you; leg shaving
I am judging you! Yes, you!

Having hairy legs isn’t dirty or unhygienic. Possessing hairy legs is not a disease. Having hairy legs is as normal as having a head on your neck. Possessing hairy legs doesn’t translate to having testes. You need to stop shaming women with hairy legs. Though I’ve never been shamed for being hairy, I’ve witnessed beautiful women being shamed for something so natural. You all can do better. Dear hairy queens, be yourself and say no to “gender norms.”

Meanwhile, I’m going to schedule an appointment with my hairstylist. Locs on my legs should look good, right? While I do that, don’t forget to tell me what you think about leg shaving.

Update:

This is me, eight months later. The hairs on my legs are beginning to annoy me. Those things now look thicker and are more conspicuous. I honestly don’t know what changed, but I’m suspicious of the coconut oil I use on my skin. These days, I harbour the fear that I’ll one day wake up to a face with a full moustache and beards; the signs are there.

I used to have 99 problems, but now I have a 100 because having to trim my nasal hairs has been added. Those things are wild! Seeing someone’s nasal hairs while speaking to them is a turnoff, so I try not to be that person. I’m still very suspicious of the coconut oil. Don’t ask me why; I just need something to blame for the wildness my body hairs have been exhibiting lately. And I really can’t bring myself to stop using it. If only the hairs on my head and eyes would be that wild.

Can’t wait to become rich. The first thing I’d probably do is book a waxing appointment and be consistent with it. Until then, I’ll just enjoy my hair. My beautiful, dark solid hairs God intentionally put on me.