Posts tagged hair

WITHOUT GIFTED HANDS

I’m very angry. I’m going through my gallery, and I’m pissed. You know why? Cos I’m tired of seeing the same look. No spice. Nothing new, just same plain fine face. I’m bored already. Y’all that repeat styles consistently, I don’t know how you do it; I admire you.

Now, I’m not angry at my fine face, don’t get me wrong. I’m just angry at my friends, and myself. How can I not have even one friend that is very good with makeup? I mean, just how? It hurts to know I have very useless friends. I said what I said. Come and beat me, or better still, block me or delete my contact. Y’all who have no atom of skill in you, but have friends with gifted hands, whom you can always run to for help, have no idea how much God has done for you.

On some days, I have a picture of what I want to look like for church or an event. But it never becomes real. It dies in my head, just because I can’t do make up, and I don’t know how to style my hair. Very sad. I can spend about an hour, working on my face with my tools; powder, mascara, lipstick and eyeliner. The end result of a very long one hour? An almost plain face with very little difference from my natural face, and I ask myself, what’s the point? Waking up an hour earlier, spending between thirty minutes to an hour, only to still look plain? Nah. Thanks. I’ll just carry my face like that. Oh no, I’m not ready to pay money on makeup, not yet. Maybe someday, when I blow, or when I have a really big event.

It’s important to let you know that I do not like the idea of friends always wanting free stuff from their skilled friends. Let’s try to be reasonable, these skilled friends paid to acquire their skill(s) and spent money on acquiring their work tools and would also invest time in doing a job. Don’t you think always asking for freebies is witchcraft? At least, make an attempt to pay, let them decide if they’d work for free or give you a discount. Even family members should pay! But what are we friends for if you can’t do free makeup for me, ehn? Yes, with your tools. The result you’d get from my makeover should be rewarding enough for you. There are some things money can’t buy, you know.

Sighs. I’m angry at myself too. I don’t know how I ended up this useless. No skill at all. Not hair, not skin, not face. Just USELESS! I need new friends, and a new self, please. Audition starts now. Every skilled person is eligible, irrespective of gender.

PS: Note that in this rant, my use of “skill,” refers to just hair and makeup; strictly beauty related skills.

THE DYING WISH

I was having a bad hair day on a fateful afternoon; I lay in bed and started to wonder what could have been the cause of my hair falling all over like cotton seeds being dispersed by the wind. A thought struck my mind. Could it be the dreaded killer disease, cancer? Was I going to become bald, or lose my boobs? My heart skipped five times a hundred beat at the thought. What would I do, how will my poor mother react? Who will bear the burden of cost of treatment? How long will I live; long enough to give my mother a grand child? How would I spend my last days on earth? These were the questions that flooded my mind.

I began to weigh options. First option was to be wild, go on crazy and wild adventures before my death. Do things I’d never done, just to know what it feels like. I wasn’t going to die at twenty something without clubbing, smoking, having mad sex (preferably with a random guy) , eating suya from the mallam without caring for hygiene for once, wilding at parties and so on; hell nah, I wasn’t . I was going to do all of that; after which I’d then be sober, confess my sins, and be good till death . The second was to ask any interested guy to marry me ( just the two of us ) without any responsibilities attached, just so we’d copulate the honourable way; and make a baby or babies for my mom before my death. The last was to live a prayerful and holy life in a convent , being selfless, giving to the poor, and accepting my fate without questions. You can call me a St. Nia in the making. Lol! Getting treatment wasn’t part of my options. No, I wasn’t going to burden anyone, or make anyone bankrupt and still die. I actually briefly considered euthanasia. Well, I don’t remember choosing any of the options. Those were just thoughts; mostly influenced by some movies and books I’ve read .

Please don’t laugh at my foolish thoughts, they can just get really wild sometimes. This whole drama series took place in my head within a period of 10 mins. If only everyone had a chance to plan out their deaths… Unfortunately, she (death) comes without permission and snatches away life rudely, like it’s her birthright.

Have you ever thought of your last moment, do you have a dying wish? What would it be?