“I’m not fat, I’m thick;” “I don’t have a big stomach, it’s just chubby;” “I’m not thin, I only slimmed down;” are some of the statements I’ve made, in defense of how I look, just because I love to argue, not cos I really meant any.
While I may have made those statements playfully, there are people who actually get offended when called fat or thin. And I honestly can’t blame them; “fat” and “thin” when used, are usually condescending or meant to be shameful. Hence, most people no longer see them as just adjectives but insults. And now, poor people like me find it hard to describe a person as fat, or short, or thin, or even black, without it coming off as body shaming. But then, it is what it is. Cos how else do I give a clear picture of a person?
Now, there’s this trend of people getting offended when others make comments on how they look. Comments like “Sade, you’re looking good. See your cheeks, you’ve added weight o,” “Guy, are you dieting? You are lean, see your neck,” and a thousand other similar comments. I said it’s a trend now cos everywhere on social media, I see people warning friends, families, acquaintances and enemies, in advance, to mind their business and not make any comment on their ‘newly acquired look,’ when next they see. I don’t know if it’s them just being ‘woke,’ or catching cruise, or being really offended, cos such comments get to them.
Well, there are different strokes for different folks. I personally have no problem with people telling me I’ve lost or added weight, gotten shorter or taller, gotten lighter or darker. Really. This is because sometimes, my eyes and judgement aren’t enough. Some of these observations serve as eye openers for me. Well, depending on how you say it sha. Some will embarrass you, all in the name of being concerned…
I’m the kind who wouldn’t notice I’ve lost weight until I become a bag of dried bones, or add about two extra holes to my belt, or until my clavicles are deep enough to hold a litre of water.
Also, I do not want to look like a sack of fufu, before I realize I’ve become fat, and now start to drink garlic and ginger, boiled in Pigeon saliva, just to burn stubborn fat. So you see why I appreciate such observations and comments from people?
Most importantly, I appreciate it when people observe that my water bumbum is evaporating, before it totally disappears (only when it truly is. I hate false observations concerning my past), cos how else would I remain a destiny changer without my juicy past?
So yes, keep them comments coming. Go ahead and tell me how I look, my mirror may not be doing its work well enough. Just make sure you process carefully, whatever you think your eyes have seen, before opening your mouth gbagada to say what is not; I’m sure you don’t want to attlact curses to yourself. So shine your eyes well, before you tell me my bumbum has reduced or that I’m lean, when you’ve only seen my upper body. Wait to see my “lower body” fess, before you conclude than I’m now lean. My wells of salvation have come to stay; so without seeing my “lower body,” you’d be tricked to believe I’m lean. So my dears, let’s be careful, and not cause unnecessary commotion.
Tell me, what are your thoughts on unsolicited observations? Do they offend you or you’re open to them?
Are you one to give unsolicited observations?
Speaking the truth all the way
Lol, I used to be very offended when regarded as thin before but in the true sense it is an adjective. The essence of adjectives is to make description easy 😂😂😂😂. But people no like to dey associate with either been fat or thin 😂😂😂.
Nice one Sonia
😂
Good thing you realize that now. It’s just how people make it seem like a bad thing that makes people not want to be described with such adjectives.
Exactly!
In giving unsolicited observations, I’m usually very careful just because I’m not really sure how the person might react so I only do it to my closest of friends, at least even if they vex, it’s easier for me to appease the gods, and when it comes to receiving such, I’d say I also appreciate it especially if they’re honest but I just don’t like the fact that they might tamper with my self confidence depending on how they’re said or how attached I’m to the person saying it, it’s like I go for an occasion looking peng in my eyes and feeling like a Beyonce😂, then everyone keeps telling me how my stomach looks big in the cloth I’m putting on or my arms looks this or that, it leaves me self conscious (a little more than normal) throughout my stay, even to the littlest things like how to position my self while sitting so that my stomach doesn’t show much or how I stand and before you know it, I just want to leave without seeing faces🤣
😂 I can relate. I guess we all can.
I never used to be offended when referred to as thin or skinny, lol because that’s how I am, not until I discovered that people get offended when described as fat, thin or short. Now I find it offensive because it’s like a social norm abi 😬
For unsolicited advice, for me it’s okay if it is coming from a friend, as in friiiiend. From a stranger, I think it depends on the manner of approach because sometimes the info might be helpful
😂😂 Please, you need to go back to not being offended.
Your emphasis on friend though 😂.
Hey Nia, nice piece here.
So growing up, I was known to be this fatty bum bum chubby Niq. I recall one very day my sister’s scolded me cos I didn’t hasten up when it was about to rain. Got drenched a lil. And then, i told them with tears in my eyes; “people will laugh at me if I run”.
Well, that was a a child. Now, I’ve grown to feel good about my body and realized that it’s normal for people to laugh. But I appreciate the few who tell me “bro! You gats work out mehn… Lol”
Very precise
Thank you.
I can relate to all these things. I think it depends on how it’s presented like you stated, it gets to me sometimes, being too conscious and all.
I think I’d move to seeing things these ways too. So help me God!😂
So help you God😂.
Most times I usually comment on how great people look when I see them. If there is anything else I’ll like to comment on such as; loss/gain in weight, better do so in private.
Basically, watch what you say and how you say it.
Thank you!
Cloths have a way of playing tricks with our thinking, have seen this happen. Lol, I once developed inferiority complex because I was fat, lazy me still won’t shed weight even tho I sometimes try to , las las, I feel we have different looks which is determined by what we wear
It’s important to feel comfortable in your skin. If you feel the need to lose some weight, then go for it. Maybe you aren’t trying enough. But if you are comfortable with how you are, with no health risk, then just enjoy it.