I found myself awake at 4:15 am, after almost staring holes into the shoes of my friend, in my dream. She had really nice sneakers on, and I just thought it wasn’t fair. I didn’t bother hiding my irritation, I told her I didn’t like her again cos she had no right having varieties to chose from. In fact, you know what I wish for right now? I wish that y’all with small feet, would wake up one day and not find the left foot of each of your shoes. Only then would I be pacified.
I believe shoe designers/manufacturers treat us— ‘big feeted’ women— as after thoughts. That has got to be the reason why most times, we’re left with god-forbid designs. They probably feel we don’t deserve happiness cos we take up space on the path leading to greatness with our big feet. Or maybe they think we’re aliens and wouldn’t love to look good.
I love shoes, but you can’t tell since I’m always wearing slippers and sandals, most of which look borrowed, cos my toes or soles are always poking out of the edges like they are trying to run away from me. As a result, I unconsciously fold my toes sometimes, in an attempt to make them appear smaller.
My feet grew so fast, growing up. There could have been a thing such as feet fertilizer cos how else would a human being’s feet grow so fast? Y’all remember that trick our parents did back in the days—buying shoes one or two sizes larger so we’d be able to wear them for long? Well, it never worked for me. At eight, I was already sharing shoes with my mum. I wore a size 38. At ten, I wore a size 42; it was at this point I took my cross to the altar and told God to burn it. Cos what business did a short chubby girl like me, have with big feet and long fingers? The fingers, I could live with, but the feet? Hell no! I had had enough of walking about in shoes that looked borrowed when in fact they were sucking oxygen out of my feet.
You know the painful part about this whole story? My mom and the rest of the world, including me, had hopes that I would turn into a tall young lady, cos why not? All that bigness in the feet and palms couldn’t be for nothing. To our greatest shock, I stopped growing tall, but my feet kept growing ahead of me. Tragic, huh? I know.
So yes, I went to my dad—God— and cried out my eyes and bared my soul to him. I told him “I know I’ll be great and wealthy enough to afford specially made Italian shoes in this life, but I don’t want.” I forgot to mention how my mum would tease me and say I’d wear pam slippers specially designed by a shoemaker, on my wedding day, if my feet didn’t stop at 42, cos I wouldn’t be able to find my shoe size. My only other option would be to ask for custom made Italian shoes, which would be ridiculously expensive. That was her hinting I had to work towards being rich, else I end up wearing only handmade slippers everywhere. Our fear was that these feet would reach a 45.
This wasn’t a joke, I took that prayer point seriously. With tears in my eyes and voice, “God, make my feet stop growing, I beg you! Please,” I said. I prayed my rosary, wrote petitions, and went to the blessed sacrament. I wasn’t taking any chance. I believed in miracles.
If only my breast grew with so much vigour. I started growing them at eight, the impatient things really gave signs of being in people’s faces, but you should see them now—very humble. I must confess, at that time, I also didn’t want big breasts. I prayed against it cos the two little puffs were restricting my easy movement. They made life tuff, and I honestly wanted them gone at ten, especially when ‘they’ were forcing bras down my throat.
I thought I had seen it all, but it only got worse. Nobody warned me about the acne and stretchmarks that hit me like a tornado, afterwards. I honestly felt cursed. Why else would a child like me be going through so much trauma?!
Let’s get back to big-feet problems. I guess it’s safe to say my request was granted and my feet stopped growing. Did I just hear an Alleluia? That’s right, go ahead and scream it on my behalf, as you should. But I still hate y’all with the options of wearing the finest and cutest shoes. You are definitely not going to heaven, so enjoy life and your shoes while you can. In the end, nobody would take shoes to wherever souls go, after death.
To my fellow girls with big-feet problems, especially short ones like me who do not have the height to complement the big feet; we have a very big mansion in my Father’s estate (he told me that himself). We’ve suffered too much in this life—blisters, sore feet, ugly options— to now suffer in the other life again.
The short girls would get the VVIP mansions (for the extra suffering—going about in shoes that look bigger than us). The girls with height would get the ones without the VV (it’s not too late to trade your height now).
Now, here’s the summary of my story: I’m judging y’all in the fashion industry, designers particularly. Y’all can do better, plus size (boobs, ass, body, feet) folks deserve to look good too.
I’m also judging you if you have nice collection of shoes (I know it’s not your fault, but I’m judging you anyways, cos I can!).
#AllFeetMatter #SayNoToBigFeetDiscrimination #BigFeetGirlsDeserveHappiness too… I think we should start an Aluta. What do you think?
😂😂😂 Wow… This is amazing and very funny too👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you Sonia😄 Enough is enough. I wear size 41, I’m kinda tall though but I totally understand and feel your pain😅
Well-done dear
More wisdom and grace👍🏼
😂Thank you, Chika. I’m glad you not only enjoyed reading, but also understand my pain.
Amen to your prayer. Thank you💜.
Honestly, all fine shoe designs stop at 40. Most are in 38, 39 which is not fair at all. I complain everytime I shop for shoes and my friends can testify I could choose shoes over oxygen if I’m given the option but we thank God oxygen is free
Nia let’s protest please. Designers should have us in mind and yes, no space for those who have options of wearing finest and cutest shoes in our Father’s kingdom
Haha🤣🤣, you got me with “thank God oxygen is free”. Thank you for having my back on this. We need to create a group to plan this protest.
A luta continua, vitoria e certa!
😂😂😂😂
There would be space for me in my Father’s kingdom. Amen
And I like it like this sha cause I can wear yours but you can’t wear mine cause your feet will hurt
Isn’t our Dadddy wonderful??😌😂
😂😂 No space for you, dear. It’s not negotiable.
I can’t relate, I’m sorry 😂
I can actually wear size 39- 41.
It’s called *ashewo feet*
But really, I think the manufacturers have to do better for you guys, let’s promote equality. Lol. #bigfeetmatter
I was going to remind you that I don’t like you and I’m judging you, but then, you’re in support of this movement. So, I forgive you😂.
Its your sweet use of words for me. Lmao!!! Funny post. But I’m not laughing at your ‘big feet’…. Well written!
😂😂😂 Thank you. The country is hard enough, I’m glad I could make you laugh.
My legs are big, I use 43 or 44 but I guess the shoes size problem for men starts to become a problem when you use 46
What a narrow escape! Maybe not so narrow. Lol.
😂😂😂😂😂.
Pele oooo
I Kent relate sha but you can count on me to join the movement
# bigfeetsmatter
A mistake 🙈
#bigfeetmatter
😂😂😂 Thanks for your support. I’ll try to not hate you.
First thank God for a new article lol. I can relate to the feet growing fast but the small body I can’t relate to.
Thanks be to baba God who answered your prayers
😂Thanks to him o. Truly, what God cannot do, does not exist.
😂😂 I totally understand I wear size 41 but my problem does not end there oo my feet are slender so sometimes I see size 41 but it still looks bigger than my feet and I cannot wear size 40 cos it is smaller 😭😂. Problem no dey finish. But they should please consider us in the fashion industry cos I love shoes.
Wahala! They really should. I’m sorry for your plight though.
Me I’ve just been laughing through every word 😂. Omooooooooooooooo, so much pain and so much energy backing up the pain 😂. Pele o nne, I’d sha take videos of you during the protest, it definitely would be funnier than what I’m reading 😂 and I can buy you cold zobo afterwards if I’m in a good mood. I mean, what are sisters for 😚
😂I hate you. Never forget that. Bye!
“I know it’s not your fault but I’m judging you anyways…”
Chief judge😂, well-done.
Nice write up 👏, sorry you have to go through that. Yes, fashion industries have to consider all those God gave more ‘endowment’ in every part of the body👌.
Yas! They have too. Thank you very much, Adeolu.
I sell cream to that shrinks foot o✋😅
😂😂😂 Our mansion in heaven, is importanter. We’ll keep our big feet.
The piece made a good read.
Keep up the good work!
Best.
Thank you, Chinedu.