When Tomorrow Comes

Guess who finally had her first club experience! That’s right, I did. I’m so glad I could do that this year; the original plan was to have it before my last birthday. But this works too. What’s left to check off are swimming and bike riding.

It’s funny how it happened. I felt like all those oyinbo people who meet someone random and marry them the next day in a strange city, talmbout “love at first sight.” Very impulsive people! 

So I met this young man by chance, a friend of my friends and acquaintances, and we got talking. First, he was patient and nice to me, and we got along well, going from location to location like we didn’t just meet. I bet some had the impression that we were a thing, especially with the hand-holding (I was in heels and occasionally needed support on uneven surfaces). Just before our roaming around came to an end, he suggested that I accompany him to the club (it was a closing celebration of the event that brought us together that day). And I enthusiastically agreed because, why not? It was something I had wanted to cross off my list.

You might think that was foolish because who goes to the club with a stranger, especially in a country as insecure as ours? Well, trust me to do my background check after accepting. He wasn’t a total stranger. I mean, before then, I knew him from a distance. I knew I was going to be seeing familiar faces too. The fine young man (let’s address him as “Classic Man” because of his fashion sense and charm) dropped me off at my destination with promises to pick me up at 10 or 11 pm. 

I really did have a good day, all thanks to him. It felt like a tour and a road trip rolled into one. It turns out we both like amala, and we shared a plate at one of our stops. The best part was definitely the night drive back home. We had the windows rolled down and some good music playing. Felt like a scene from a book.

The agreed-upon PM eventually came, and Classic Man came to pick me up. He was a good sport. He was a thoughtful driver, he didn’t drive as if he was tired of inhabiting earth. When we got to our destination, it initially felt strange, cos how do you act in a club? The music was too loud for me, and I thought my heart would burst from the vibrations. 

Things eventually got better when we moved farther from the loudspeaker, and I started to sip on some Smirnoff that Classic Man got on my request. God forbids I consume alcohol I’m unfamiliar with and get drunk. I am not much of a drinker, and when I drink, I like it with family or trusted friends. As a matter of fact, getting used to consuming alcohol is something I’ve been working on for over three years now. I can say I’ve made slow but sufficient progress. So I had a can of Smirnoff and some red wine throughout my stay in the club. 

I surprised myself; I danced. You read right. Rhythmless and ever-self-conscious Ekata danced and “rocked.” My God! I could give Megan a run for her money. I’m sure I looked ridiculous, but I didn’t care at that moment. Ekata 2.6 was at work and was busy being the daughter of Maya (Angelou). The Ekata of old would have had a thousand and twenty-six reasons not to grind on Classic Man because it is not my thing; we were in public, first time meeting him, a younger man, too many mutual friends, I wasn’t even sure I knew how to move my waist, and the endless list goes on. 

Classic Man made dancing with him easier. He smelled the hell good, and that did work some magic on my senses (I just gave you one of the seduction tips that would work on me. Good luck trying). His broad chest, biceps, and triceps felt so safe; I just wanted to lean in and remain there while sniffing like a little furry friend. He felt like a home away from home. Moral lesson? Try dey smell nice. Now that I think of it, I must have stressed him out with the height difference. If you know, you know.

As far as I was concerned, I was just enjoying the moment. That has been my 2022 mantra, and I’ve adhered diligently. We could return to being strangers again the next day, and I wouldn’t have an iota of regret. I mean, I have less than five years to get to the third floor. I wasn’t going to let my pride and my need to always be right get in my way. It is enough that I missed out on my teenage years.

Have you ever met one who went straight from being a baby to an adult without experiencing the teenage phase? No? Oh. Pleased to meet you then, cos you’ve just met one.

I went from being a child to being an adult. I didn’t make all those foolish teenage decisions and shit the rest of you did. I was extra careful about my choices. In fact, I always felt out of place with my mates. I loved to roll with older people. With them, I didn’t have to deal with teenage shenanigans.

I am ultra-careful and calculative when making decisions, especially ones that may have long-term effects. It is why I can be very indecisive. I like to weigh the pros and cons and what I stand to lose. And when I have nothing to lose, I go for it. However, as soon as I make a decision, it’s tough to go back on it. In other words, I always had my head in the game. 

Before now, 2018 was one year I let myself make “bad decisions” I do not regret in the process of exploring and satisfying my curiosity. It was my year of many firsts. Like my first sleepover at a man’s, my first “lap dance” (in quote cos I really was clueless and don’t know if that counts), first multiple “situationships.” Then there’s my first and last kiss because I may never be a fan and, as a result, may remain a terrible kisser.

But even in all of these situations, I was never impulsive. I never failed to do my math. I made those decisions because I had nothing to lose. Maybe some of my unnecessary ego was lost along the way, but I think I have enough to last several lives.

I don’t know if it is what being 25 does to people, but I’m at that age where I’m all about experiencing people. This year, I have made decisions that my old self would never have consented to out of “ego.” I have said yes to many dates, which my old self would never do. I am creating memories. I am living in the moment with no room for regrets. So long it wouldn’t jeopardize my future, and I am doing it because I want to. 

I wasn’t joking when I said this year is for living strictly on my terms. Never cared much for rumors or wrong impressions (emphasis on “much”). If you don’t matter, then it doesn’t matter. Staying true to myself is more important. I really don’t know what I’ll meet on the third floor, so I am going to enjoy my twenties, and I’ll advise you to do the same. You still have time to be foolish and make foolish decisions.

You’ll get to a certain age, and people won’t let you off the hook easily when you make some unwise decisions. Let me warn you, I’ll be among those furiously judging you and your whole existence. So make those bad decisions now that you’re young. But when things go south, you didn’t get this advice from me. 

If you want, wear those ashewo dresses and let volcanoes erupt. You want to dye your hair green? Go ahead and do it if there are no consequences. What I won’t approve of is sleeping around with multiple people. But who am I to say you shouldn’t? If you can afford to raise kids and treat STDs, by all means, screw and ride away. Your body, your choice, right?

Now back to my club experience. I had a really good time, not because of the club but because of the person. Would I like to do it again? I don’t think so. I’d instead create a club in my house or my partner’s house with just the two of us. Did Classic Man and I go back to being strangers? Maybe, maybe not.

Let’s see how long this phase lasts. By the way, I am totally enjoying it. I’m about experiencing different people, creating beautiful memories, building relationships, and enjoying the “baby girl treatment.” So when tomorrow comes, I’ll look back with zero regrets and a broad smile at the memories I made. I’ll drink a cup of smoothie to that. Cheers.

Postscript

I’d love to learn how to kiss people in greeting. I’ve never made a move to kiss anyone who isn’t a child or my mum. I have gotten forehead and cheek kisses on long days, and I loved the feeling. I could be that person who makes a long day slightly better with a kiss. I want to explore it.

So we are adding that to my bucket list. Y’all, get ready to start receiving holy kisses from me. I don’t exactly want to make that a culture. Let me explore first…you never can tell; I went from avoiding hugs to being a hugger who never misses a chance to share hugs. Wish me luck, guys. I need YouTube videos.