If you ask me what I’d like to change about my physical features and I say some BS about loving myself the way I am and all that nonsense talk, just know I’ve successfully served you a cold sobo (zobo), a very cold one with more ice than liquid.
Of course, I’m a fine girl. Skin on fleek. Hair on fleek. Soft bum-bum wey dey change destiny. A handful of succulent East-West breasts. I mean, I’m a spec. But do I have insecurities? Hell to the YEAH! I hate my teeth! I’m not even going to try to sugarcoat it. I know hate is a strong word, but I really do hate my dentition. I wonder maybe it’s because I was in such a hurry to leave the warehouse for babies in wherever-humans-are-made, and the artists hurriedly threw teeth in my gum as Nigerians throw spices in food. For context, I was a tenant in my mama’s belly for only 7 months.
I hate that I can’t smile with every cell in my face like Mmesoma, Nkechinyere, or Daniel ( my baby daddy no 2). I love people who can smile and laugh without holding back for the camera. If you know me in person, you’d know I laugh a lot with my whole body and mouth. I don’t have good laughing manners… but. Yes, there’s a but. I reflexly cover my mouth when I laugh because I hate my teeth. Have you seen the several plots of land I have in my teeth? Not only does it make me feel ‘unbeautiful,’ but it also causes me physical pain.
I love pictures where unplanned moments are captured. Like a moment of genuine laughter or smile, the kind that reaches the eyes. Of a thoughtful expression. Of the love in someone’s eyes when looking at the one they love. Of the different kinds of emotions. But I hate it when I’m caught with my 34 out in the open because I don’t think I look good with my teeth all out (I was blessed with the wisdom tooth twice, so 34 isn’t a blunder). In all honesty, I think I look like a grinning donkey when I smile with my teeth out.
I’ve been considering getting braces to fix them when I can afford it myself. At the same time, I don’t want to lose my diastema. It has become a part of my identity. Unfortunately, most people in my life don’t even know I have one. I’m always either pouting, serving a straight face or my “cheekful” smile in my pictures, so I can’t really blame them. “But don’t you talk? They should be able to notice it when you talk,” you may ask. Let’s just say my beauty makes them lose focus. Or my wisdom. Has to be one of the two, or both.
I hate how aggressive the veins on the back of my hands are. I don’t like my slender fingers when my nails are really short. I also don’t like how my arms look out of proportion with my body. They’re unusually long for a shortie like me. As for my long flat feet, I’ve made peace with them. They’re actually not bad until I wear sneakers, and you’ll start to wonder, “whose shoes did this one borrow?”
Of all the things I’d like to change about my features, my teeth take the lead by a wide margin. As for the others, they don’t bother me, but if I get a pain-free and money-free chance to change them, I wouldn’t need to sleep on them.
Maybe like my wide lips and stretch marks on my butt cheeks, which I’ve genuinely grown to love, I’ll love my jaga-jaga teeth someday. Not like I see that ever happening, but a girl can hope, right?
Again, I know I am beautiful. But I have my days too. Days when I feel my “beautiful” is overhyped by my lovers and cheerleaders. Days when my confidence is ‘shook.’ On days like that, I don’t even attempt to look beautiful. I could plaster all the makeup on my face, wear the best outfit, and still won’t feel beautiful. And I think it’s okay to feel that way sometimes. I don’t think we were made to feel and experience only positive things. Cos how else would we value the positive feelings and experiences when they come?
So I don’t bother anymore. Days when I don’t feel beautiful, I just tell myself, “they’ve seen your beautiful moments several times. That you’re beautiful is no longer news. They’ll survive this one time. I can’t always be fine, abeg.”
And there are days when my beauty overwhelms me. I’m not exaggerating; I wake up from sleep looking and feeling way more beautiful than before I slept. By the way, I get overwhelmed when I see beautiful people. I literally lose my breath, and my heart starts to race. For real, for real. I love beautiful people, but I hate how they make me feel. So on some days, I am “beautiful people,” and I legit say the things I say to other beautiful people to myself.
On days like that, every time I walk past the mirror, I wonder how God did it and think, “dayum, girl! Aren’t you God’s favourite, cos all this beauty for one person?” My skin, eyes, and hair glow differently. I wonder if it’s only me who sees it or if an obvious change really takes place. It’s usually a crazy feeling when it happens. Like what happened in the place where people go when they sleep? What changed between the previous night and this morning?
Anyway, I think everyone has something that makes them feel insecure. Huh-hun! Including your perfect confidence-oozing role model and celebrity crush. Today, I talk about physical attributes that shake my confidence. Maybe tomorrow, I will talk about confidence itself and what makes me confident.
On a final note, I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing to occasionally feel insecure. Be aware of your insecurities, feel them, and own them. Key word is “own them.” Never let them own you. My jaga-jaga teeth haven’t stopped me from laughing or taking pictures. I’m only conscious of them when I’m being filmed or photographed by others and can’t see what they see ( I mean! I don’t want them to remember me the next time they see a grinning donkey). But when I’m in control, I feel more confident taking pictures and making videos with my teeth all over my face and sharing them. Lol. Silly, right?
Also, making fun of what I consider my flaws never gets to me. You know why? Cos I’m aware, and I own them. I make jokes about them, so trying to shame me will be futile. I’ll most likely be laughing with you. But the few times a negative comment about my looks got to me, I didn’t waste time calling the offender to order. I don’t joke with my confidence or peace of mind. I don’t let myself share a space with people that will make me shrink or question my worth. I’m never giving anyone that power. I call the shots.
So tell me, what makes you or once made you feel insecure? How do you/did you handle it? This is home, remember? Let’s talk.
Learning to love an insecurity is one of the hardest things a person can do. Well personally I do believe you have an amazing smile regardless of how you feel about your dentition and smile hidden is a smile lost. Show the world your smile….
That’s right, it is hard. And thank you for the compliment. I hope to start seeing this myself; maybe the world needs to see my smile.
You’re very beautiful and -I’m sure that’s not news to even the stranger on the sidewalk- hiding your teeth, contrary to what you think, only hides the beauty of your smile.
For me, I think I’m insecure about my body hairs. As you’ve already guessed, I’m a very hairy human (not a werewolf) and going to the pool unplanned is a no-no cause I need to complete the ritual of shaving my chest and stomach (to unveil the abs, if you know what I mean😉). But I’m starting to not give too many fucks though
Lol! To say it’s news would be me feigning modesty. Thank you for sharing what makes you feel insecure about your body. And the compliment too! Thank you for that.
To giving zero fucks about the things that make us feel insecure, cheers.
Beautiful Sonia, this is an interesting write-up,
Thank you, beautiful Marian. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
This is really nice!🙌👌🏾
Thank you, Promise.
A very nice piece. It made me to read your other stories
Awwn! The kind of things I love to hear. Thank you, Somebody. I’m glad you find my stories captivating.
A change of environment is one major cause of my insecurities.
How so?
Hmm,this topic got my attention.Insecurities of our bodies,if only I could take mine away.For me it’s my collar bone lol I saw one article about Zendaya and how they were praising her collar bones in my mind I was like if only it was like this in my country also my hair 🥺 God if only this hair could grow like a normal hair my prayers have been answered…by the way I’ve always praised how u look 😭😭😭Sonia with perfect body❤️❤️
OMG! Coming from my body crush, whoosh! I feel the same way about your body too. As for your hair, We bless God for extensions and wigs (maybe God wants you to make short hair your signature look, cos you look bomb in it). I also think you should flaunt your collar bones more, lots of people will kill to have it.
Thanks for sharing too.
Very nice my dear………we all have our insecurities, but it takes confidence to make them public . I must commend you😍😍
Thank you, Odogwu! I appreciate the love.
Good and honest write-up…love it
Thank you, Ranel.
I used to be very insecure about how I’ve always being the tall girl. I was always last in line in primary school after we’re all lined up according to height. I was made fun of a lot in secondary school cos I was tallest in the whole school. I was even taller than most of my teachers 😂. My mates would say really mean things sometimes and pass it off as jokes and we’d all laugh together.
The past few years have had me come to really love my height because it stands me out quite literally 😂. I don’t have to struggle to get noticed or gain people’s attention when I step into a room, I almost always have it everytime. The world is my literal stage 😂 since I’m already taller than everybody 🤣
I was also very insecure about my teeth. They’ve been yellow for as long as I can remember. I used smoker’s brush tire! Laikin se smoker o😂 I suffered😭. My dentition is not so good too. I changed milk teeth and one refused to come out on the left side like all the others. It has impacted on the one next to it close to my left incisor and that one too shifted. In secondary, they called me eleyin kika. Now I don’t stress over it cos there’s money in my nearest future and I’ll simply go to a good dentist to fix it. Shikena! No stress!😂
Yes, girl! That’s the spirit. I love this energy. Thank you for sharing what used to make you feel insecure about your looks.
This is really beautiful. Thanks for sharing your insecurities. We all have.❤
Your username makes me want to cry. Thank you, dear fan. Your sweet words warm my heart.
“And I think it’s okay to feel that way sometimes. I don’t think we were made to feel and experience only positive things. Cos how else would we value the positive feelings and experiences when they come?”
“I’m never giving anyone that power. I call the shots.”
I used to be so bothered about my small breasts; wearing unnecessarily big bras; wearing big tops to cover their size. You looking at my breast was enough for me to start shaking inside. Happy to have overcome that phase. I have come to see the beauty in their small and perky size. I’m all in for low cut singlets and dresses. The best part being that I can reveal “too much” without looking “too indecent “
Another is my fingers, they are my biggest physical insecurities. I catch myself putting my hands under the table so you don’t see them. When I need to do an activity that shows my hands, I get bothered about how they look. My fingers themselves are not fine and my nails are short too. There are some days when I paint them very flashy colors and feel like a baddie. Most days, I hide them under the table or hope wearing 5 rings at a time is enough distraction away from the ugliness of my fingers.
Insecurities yeah 😂
I enjoyed this as always! Content reservoir!
I’m glad you got the memo on time. Na small breasts dey reign now o! Lol! the wearing 5 rings part cracked me up. I can relate. I’m really glad you’ve made peace with your small breasts.
Thank you for the hype, my dear friend. Cheers to getting over the things that make us feel small.
I really enjoyed reading this. A great write up.
Love it.
Thank you, Energy god. I’m happy knowing you enjoyed reading this.
You, my dearest friend never cease to amaze me with how you put your thought process into writing. I hate my teeth. Lol and I find it weird when people love my smile including you😂. Shine your teeth Frances.. smile na why are you squeezing your face😂😂. I am so Insecured about my teeth and I don’t like close up pictures cause of that.Let me just master this facial looks that Ekata serves and it is over for y’all. I love smiling and interestingly enough I get the “ nice smile “ privilege and I keep on asking my sef are these people not seeing my dentition abi they are blind😂😂😂. I am sha getting a braces when I have money
Master what? No, no, no! I will not accept that. Your smile is a strong selling point for you, hope you know. May we not see anything that will make you stop shining teeth. If getting braces will make you feel better, by all means, do so.
BTW, we aren’t blind. You are the one who needs a clear vision. Looks like you’ve been consuming too much garri with traces of cyanide.
A nice read, I can relate with the insecurities. We all have it, I think some major challenges are embracing those insecurities.
But who are we without those little insecurities. I’m learning to embrace mine. It’s part of me and it’s what makes me distinct.
Thank you for sharing. Cheers!!
True, embracing our insecurities can be a challenge. I’m here cheering. Thank you for reading! Cheers.
I’m not one to read, not to mention finishing blogs, write ups or even long comments😂, but I finished this one and I’m glad I did.
It was really interesting and expressive, allowing us to know a little of what is the mind of our very own “thatedogirl”(celeb in the making ✨). Keep up the good work.
Ps: Nice website too🥂
Ha-ha-ha! Celeb in the making got me. Thank you for reading and for your kind words, Otega. Knowing you enjoyed your time here makes me happy, I hope my blog sees you more.
Because I’m a writer, I consciously or subconscious notice how fine a writ is. This is beautiful, no cap.
I mean, the whole write up is amazing. I love itttt.
Yes, you’re very beautiful and I’m glad you’ve made peace with yourself.
My insecurity is my height. “Wow! I love your height” comments once in a while still doesn’t make me feel my height yet. Maybe I’ll get over it someday. Other than that, I am very beautiful and I’ve got the most beautiful smile in the whole wide world.
Thank you very much, Tife. Hype yourself, queen! I love that.
I hope you get over the insecurity your height causes you.
Okayy I love my teeth..lol but I can relate with the part of waking up and feeling like a super model and other times I just hate my face, my big forehead, my cheeks for the longest time I hated smiling..but I’ve grown.
P.S this is a beautiful piece
Thank you, Phoebe. I’m glad you can relate to that part. It feels good to know I’m not the only one.😂
Nice read, am not exactly one to invest time into reading blogs and the likes, but the key thing I love about this is ‘being aware of your insecurities and owning it’, not letting your insecurities define you. I love that. And you really painted a nice picture (including the cute photographed pictures) for us readers.
Gotta admit, am currently thinking about my million insecurities and body features that I hate so much, and as much as I’ve been aware of them, I realize I haven’t exactly been owning them. I guess I should start doing that, not as easy as it seems though. Thanks fo this BTW. 🤓
Beautiful write-up
This is a beautiful piece… I love the part that says, “own your insecurity and don’t let it own you”… It’s crazy, growing up, I injured my teeth too and now in pictures, I smile and try my best to not show the bad part. Thank you.
This is a really beautiful write up Ekata 😊
I’m going to start owning my insecurities. I don’t really pay attention to them but I’ll start doing that now